A few years ago, in a writing class I took at the Writing Salon, we had to do an exercise of writing about something in 100 words exactly. It was one of my favorite writing exercises so I thought I’d do it again today, with Dellums’s State of the City address. It’s kind of amazing that everything Dellums said can be condensed into a hundred words:
Dellums shares lofty words from Obama, MLK, and Kennedy, but not much else. We face challenges, like the recession and crime, but we’ve made unprecedented progress. “Peddlers of doom” said we couldn’t, but we got to 803 police officers. We just need another commission to oversee police, creating transparency and trust. The federal government and state will save us – I met with important government officials who promised they would. Now if the rest of you would just get active and start doing your part. As for city staff, stop worrying about making the trains run on time and start innovating.
The next step in this exercise is to condense it down to 50 words, 25 words, 10 words, and finally 1 word. If anyone has the time and inclination, feel free to complete any part of the rest of the exercise in the comments. Or share your own hundred word version of Dellums’s speech.
For a more thorough analysis of the State of the City address, head over to A Better Oakland later today. V Smoothe took copious notes so I’m hoping she’ll post something about it. But you should be cautious when reading her writing, since she’s a “peddler of doom.”